Cheaterization Just Is!!!
Cheaterization has been with humankind since the beginning of time and does not seem to be going anywhere anytime soon.
I am not sure if people are just intrigued by the taboo or secrecy of sneaking or if there are serious breakdowns in a marriage that makes cheating seem so compelling. Either way, someone always gets hurt but there is one question that lingers in the minds of many....whose shoes would one rather walk in?
To be or not to be the Mistress vs To be or not to be the Wife
Mistress has excitement and thrill behind the title. A mistress is typically the go to partner for immediate gratification with loose strings attached. For men, this is the ideal situation. But what is it like for the mistress?
According to women who have filled this role, there are perks as well as a downside to being the other woman. There is always romance, great sex, gifts, and trips. But what makes the rotten dirty scoundrel more enticing is the emotional connection that is forged from the union society deems morally wrong. Within this relationship, both partners tend to be forth coming about their feelings and they feel safe expressing themselves. This is a relationship that does not involve criticism. They enjoy being in each other's presence because they are actually living in the moment. Every moment of their interactions count so they give it their all. There is little room for fighting and bickering. There is only time for lovemaking. Some of the other perks are that they do not share a household or have children together. So the day to day stress in the man's life is exempt when he is with his mistress.
On the contrary, knowing that the man she has fallen in love with must leave her at night or during the week to be with his wife and family is hurtful. Although she is totally aware of the situation, deep down inside she is hoping that he will one day leave his wife for her. But the reality of the situation is the mistress is limited to the amount of time she spends with her partner. There may not be any consistency in how often they communicate and at the end of the day, her opinion does not account for much because THEY are a secret. This fairy tale romance is also expected to come to an end at some point. Nothing lasts forever, and these ties may be broken the moment his wife finds out or if he has a change of heart and decides to uphold his commitment to marriage.
The title of wife alone has a respectable connotation that appeals to most. This title represents a union agreed upon before God. It is the position to be desired by many women. But just like there are perks and downsides to being a mistress, the same is true for wives.
Wives are in a relationship that guarantees economic commitment if nothing else. The household will be maintained and provided for. The relationship between this couple is public, family oriented, comes with benefits and can have dual earners. This is no fly by situation. Husband and wife are committed for life or in some cases, til death due them part (the show Snapped....lol). Behavior from the spouses tend to be predictable and reliable. It's a practical lifestyle that is supported by the other. However, for some...all that routine stuff turns out to be flat out boring over time.
Boredom may lead him right into the arms of another woman. Now that he has this other woman...where does that leave the wife. Being the wife and not the mistress does not afford one total honesty in the relationship. And we all know honesty is where trust lies. So now the husband is working longer hours at work, taking business trips, uninterested in sex and is not in such a loving mood when he is around. He is irritated easily and prefers alone time when he is home. After all, his wife is the one he has to consult with about finances, the children, household chores, new purchases, and hear her nag about the time THEY ARE NOT spending together. This can be a stressful situation. We are talking about shared credit, different spending and saving habits which lead to argument after argument for control. All of these things could very well cause this couple to fall in and out of love with each other. Remember, the wife REALLY knows her husband (the good, the bad and the down right ugly sides of him). Despite it all...they are married!!!
With that information, which side of the coin would you want to land on? Mistress or Wife?
I have been on both sides of the coin, although I wouldn’t call myself "the mistress" per se, or "the wife"...but I have been the main event as well as the side show. Having said that, I think wives often fail where mistresses won’t. While the wife role is known, for the most part, to offer stability, thus proving the reason she is often never let go of....the wife category can be elevated if the wifey would learn a few lessons from the role mistresses play.....how will they learn this, one way is having a no secrets clause, and a no judgement environment....we've heard it all before "communication and acceptance is key" to any successful involvement.... a few things that can help the reformed cheater maintain 100 % commitment to relationship include: 1)wifey try to initiate sexual contact more often and stop turning down sex from your "daddi", the mistress will do things that take your mae by surprise all the time, newness is the mistresses second name!, wives you should capture your mate, be that exotic fantasy by coming on strong more often than not. 2) Stop claiming to be "that bitch” just because you r made at your partner it’s not happening boo, any good relationship thrives on "niceness" mistresses are nice. 3)the mistress will take time to make a good meal, yes there may be kids, careers, pressure of shared bills within the family unit, but wives, if you wanna be number 1 and only, make sure you cook a homecooked meal at least once a week, no hamburger helper either!, at least, the mistress will, ijs. 4) mistresses that are good at what they do, know when to shut their mouths, nobody wants to work at their job and come home 2 face those some type of stressful issues, just stop it and empower your mate, again, the mistress makes the cheater feel like a king on a throne, be the most positive vide in your partners life. 5) keep it sexy at all times, period! yes, yes I often hear women say, I got this to do and that to do, and I work, ima be comfortable before "bam glam"! well sweetheart, I hate to be the one to tell you, the mistress, if she’s on top of her game, is sexy every time your partner encounters them, no doubt....out do the mistress, regularly invest in Vicky secrets crotch less silky's, a mani/pedi, a nice hair color, a gym membership, etc....and encompass the vibes of sexiness daily, those things bring a greater desire for you, not only will you be sexy and irresistible, you will feel more sexy and irresistible...so do the regular self care and the devotion you give yourself will be appreciated by your mate in more ways than one.....6) be a freak in the sheets but a lady in the streets, now a wife can really have the advantage here, but she has to own it and let herself go, while the mistress is a freak all the time (and is greatly appreciate for that!!)she most likely won’t now how to be that lady in the streets, so wives can build greater success with understanding that, here's an idea.....while out at a company dinner, make things happen in a secluded place or better yet give your partner a "treat" on the way to the event, while you drive over, there are many ways to be respectable yet desired....make it work by putting in work....seriously you have the power, not the mistress, it’s a matter of properly utilizing that power.....ok, my work is done,for now.... there are so many ways the mistresses historically get an A+ where the wife scores a C-....be the wife can be thatchange she wants, just by steping out of her comfort zone and keeping it interesting. peace Killa Kam, great post!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your input!!! I think that you made a lot of good points. I agree wives should keep the spark by being spontaneous and keep their physical appearance on point!!
ReplyDeleteno doubt
ReplyDeleteWell Viola...Inclusive Cuts said it all...lol.
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