The first time a young girl gets her menstrual cycle...the biological clock starts. And although it has ALWAYS been ticking....that ish does not get annoyingly LOUD until one has already reached the height of their career or needs like 5 more years to accomplish that career aspiration. Unfortunately, the time it takes to get financial independence does not coincide with the odds of having a HEALTHY baby. Women are most fertile when they are teenagers and young adults (early 20's). But society has led us to believe that we are not emotionally mature or ready to reproduce during that time. Sadly, a lot of young girls get pregnant but they abort the pregnancy. When they find themselves as older adults ready to have children for the first time, or have another child....they can't! Society says one thing but our bodies are showing us another.
Society is also pushing marriage before children. I am not at all disagreeing with the preference for that particular model, however, it is my personal belief that you have the REST of your life to find THE ONE...but you only have about 24 years give or take to have a baby. When a woman waits beyond that short time period in her life, she puts herself at risk for taking a much longer period to conceive for the first time, she is at a higher risk for miscarriages and the baby is at risk for genetic abnormalities including down syndrome and autism. That is just speaking candidly about having one child, what about those women who want to have more than one??? All I can say is....damn...where did the time go?
I am not at all attempting to represent ALL of the women in their thirties...but merely presenting a point of view, one in which I can totally relate to! My plight is not to convince all of the single women in their thirties to run out and get pregnant, but I am asking them to put into perspective their long term goals. If family ranks right up there with financial security...now is the time to take control much like you did with your career. Mr. Right Now does not have to be synonymous with Mr. Wrong. Look at Mr. Right Now as the conduit to your bundle of joy. At the end of it all, if things do not work out with Mr. Right Now and he decides to pick up and leave the relationship, you will be happy with what he has left behind. And when Mr. Right surfaces, you will be able to say that you achieved ALL of your goals and have no regrets!!
I think you might be on to something Kamalla, however maybe you should give some insight about Mr. Right Now. What do he look like? Can he really live in Los Angeles? lmao!
ReplyDeleteWell Melody, if you want to have children soon, Mr. Right Now is going to have to meet your minimum criteria. For some people it is physical appearance and good general health. For others, it may be financial stability and a willingness to co-parent. Only you can decide what your Mr. Right Now is going to look. You should not limit yourself to one city. I suggest that you get out and mingle in different thriving metropolitan cities in the nation. And when you are really ready to reproduce...you won't have any problems designating a partner...wink/wink!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. Seeing what my mother went through as a single parent, with a highly active father, I'll have to pass. I can't knowingly go into a very challenging life changing situation. Given this, perhaps my eggs will just rot...LOL.
ReplyDeletePage, you have to remember that you are not your mother and the father of your unborn child is not your father. We are also living in a different economic period than our parents with endless opportunities. But I totally respect your opinion because only you know what is best for you. Some women don't view family as a high priority nor do all women feel maternal. But for the women who believe they were born to be mothers and haven't done it yet...30 is the time to really start considering all of their options if they haven't fulfilled that fairy tale of finding Mr. Right!
ReplyDeletewhat about the single women who are still not economically secure, yet have great future potential and in their thirties? and is there a such thing as that "economic security" in this day and time?
ReplyDeleteAs a single father of a preteen, I say it can be done in today's economic times. As I get older, in my early 30's now, I don't see myself having kids beyond 35. The younger the better. And if you can find someone that you feel comfortable enough being part of your life for the next 18+ years..... then I say go for it. I will always remember what my pastor told me when I filed for custody of my daughter...at one point you both made a decision to lay down and create a child. Raising that precious gift is the job of both parents regardless of how they feel towards each other now.
ReplyDeleteInclusive Cuts, I think you have to ask yourself what you value more (financial success or family). It definitely is NOT an easy decision to make. But what I can say is that a career can continuously be worked on, bearing your own children is limited. You can always chase your career and adopt if you can't have your own children when you are ready as the alternative. It is all up to you. If you are in your early thirties...you still have some wiggle room, but if you are in your late thirties, any doctor will tell you to hop to it because the window is closing!!
ReplyDeletePrican...I agree with you!! As a woman in my early thirties, I have started to reflect on the age of my parents when I was growing up and now all I can say is....damn, I am going to be kinda old when my children become teenagers. My energy level is going to be low and they may be able to get a lot of things past me because I will not be as in tunned with trends in my late forties. I honestly feel like ALL children are a gift...and you may NEVER feel like you are economically stable...but guess what...if God brought that child into your life...God will make a way for that child to survive. You may have to budget, and cut out certain luxuries, but you will be surprised how many family members, friends and even strangers will volunteer to help you out! And I can't speak for others...but I definitely feel like I was put on this earth to be a mother...and the joy I will gain from having my own children...will be more valuable to me than any material. Material things come and go....but when I am elderly and can't do for myself, my children will be there for me!!
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