This is your last chance to do the darn thing.You can be as inappropriate as you wanna be, confront unresolved issues, tell someone how you really feel, buy an irresponsible item, eat that meal filled with empty calories, drank alcohol or inhale illegal substances until you zone out….WHO CARES, IT’S THE LAST DAY OF THE YEAR?!!!
If you ask me, TODAY, is the most significant day of the year…more so than the first day of a new year.This is the day most people decide to make DRASTIC changes for the upcoming year.The final hours where regrets are relived, goals are set, closets cleaned out, old furniture dumped, relationships re-evaluated and financial portfolios re-visited.The day when ENOUGH is ENOUGH….and we get tough and mentally ready to do something different.Before we continue this tradition…allow me to shed some words of wisdom.
EVERY MOMENT is an opportunity for a NEW BEGINNING!!! If there is something you want to do…..JUST GO FOR IT!!! Don’t wait for the right moment or when you are fed up and can’t take it no more.You should not get to that point.Learn the true meaning of living….which is simply BEING…and being true to you.You will increase your overall happiness, strengthen your immune system and expand your life expectancy!
Due to doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it…I FEEL GREAT! So, I am starting this year off the way I WANT!
1.ALL of my bills are paid and my house is clean.
2.My financial portfolio has been updated and I have calculated my net worth.
3.My car is clean, had its oil changed and has a full tank of gas.
4.My desk is cleaned off at work and all assignments are turned in.
5.My loved ones know they are loved by me.
6.Now I am out of town surrounding myself with new people, places and things!
HAPPY FREAKIN NEW YEAR PEOPLE!!!! TIME TO GET YA MIND RIGHT!
Start paying attention to the randomness that happens in your life. You will see that it's not really random at all. We cross paths with unfamiliar faces on a regular basis but there are a chosen few who will initiate some sort of exchange with you and only YOU. At that moment, you have been deemed THE CHOSEN ONE!
One day I pulled into a gas station late at night. I had been meaning to get gas ALL day, but for some odd reason, I just kept putting it off. When I finally got there, I started pumping my gas when I suddenly heard an older woman on the other side of the pump say....ma'am, can you help me get some gas. She explained that she had an emergency in another city nearby and only needed about 10 dollars worth. Instantly, I was stumped. In my head I was like this is random! I have had people ask for money and food...BUT GAS....for a second I was sure I was being PUNKED...lol. This woman did not appear to be homeless and as a matter of fact, she was driving a newer car than my own. I looked this woman in the eyes to see if I could sense some fraudulence, then I looked into her car to see who she was with because I wanted to make sure I wasn't being taken advantage of. When I started to look around the gas station questioning why she had asked me, I shrugged it off and decided to get her at least 15 dollars worth of gas. Right at that moment she said...YOU are the person GOD sent to me and she had tears in her eyes. When I looked around the gas station...I WAS BLOWN AWAY because there were no other cars or people in sight. Although this was a late night, this gas station always has at least two cars in it and people pumping gas. This lady asked for my name, she shook my hand and said she was going to pray for me. This was UNFREAKIN BELIEVABLE, but I felt great knowing that I was chosen to do something for someone at a time when they really needed it. In essence, I PASSED the TEST! I followed my instincts and did exactly what I felt compelled to do. Just know that you are in your current position because of what you have been putting out in the universe. BIG GIVERS RECEIVE GREAT THINGS! For this reason alone, I have a hard time trying to count my blessings...they are infinite.
Some think men are the same every where you go, but the truth is......uh....NO! That is not the case. There are fundamental differences that stem from culture which can vary from city to city so it should be understood that there will be differences state to state and definitely from coast to coast.
L.A. guys are FLY! Right from the start they are WINNING. This city breeds guys who have earned the right to be called "FINE." Lets just begin with first impressions. The average guy in L.A. is TALL, at least 6 feet. A short guy for L.A. is approximately 5'11. Now that height is covered, moving on to the face. The sun in L.A. is year round so a majority of L.A. guys have beautiful skin. I am talking about smooth surfaces and even color tones. I have also noticed that L.A. guys tend to have exotic features. I mean...everyone seems to be mixed with something. There are a variety of hair textures (curly, straight, wavy and kinky) and random eye colors like blue, green, gray, hazel, or really light brown. Those who aren't from L.A. may be reading this and thinking to themselves wow, but for us natives it's....NO BIG DEAL, IT'S L.A.! Not all but many of the guys are physically fit and into health...so the body is right and tight! Next on the list is Gear Game. No two guys style the same...but what they have in common is how fresh and so clean they are. It does not matter if you are on the west or east side of L.A....the WHITE TEE is going to be crispy and kicks will be on point. He might not have a dollar in his pocket...but he is going to look like a million bucks. Confidence in this city rates right up there with taking showers regularly. Every guy in L.A. has it!!! He could be one of the most unattractive men at a party...but he is going to walk around and try to holla at a dime piece in that joint! He could care less about what she does for a living, if she has more than he does...or the fact that she could totally be a model. If he wants her, he is going to give it a shot and approach like he got it like that! Aside of the confidence, a L.A. guy is going to use what he has to get what he wants. He will buy that chick and her friends drinks from the bar, he will talk about his business ventures as a music producer, promoter, rap artist and whatever else Hollywood and the entertainment world has to offer. That ish might not be true...but he is going to go out of his way to try and prove it to you by the type of whip he is pushing. You will see ole' boi pushing a Bentley, Ferrari, Corvette, Porshe, Benz or Beamer. So yes ladies, a L.A. dude is going to come across as the complete fantasy package and he will also mind f@ck the ish outta you. He will approach you directly, then lay back to see how you respond. He will show you that he is interested immediately by asking you what are you doing later that day or ask when is the next time you will be available so he could take you out. Remember, he is a guy who takes initiative, knows what he wants and is confident that he will get it!!! This guy is not going to waste valueable time talking to you on the phone for hours before asking you out. You will be asked on a date that week...because he typically is not worried about his pockets being on low. Cause if you know like I know....every L.A. guy has a side hustle and he will get that money one way or another just so he can kick it with you and show you a good time. He might be living at home with his mama....lol....but hey...he is working on a record deal and soon he is going to blow up...so you had better stick with him until that happens...LMBO.
On the contrary, DMVdudes are Eww! Lets just say Napoleon lived here and spread his seeds ALL over the darn place. Finding a guy 6 feet is like searching for a needle in a hay stack. The short gene dominates this district. Tall for this area is 5'7 or 5'9. In regards to facial features...I typically find the guys here to be EXTRA REGULAR. wWhat I mean by that is when you see a dude in this area...there will be no double takes, no snap your head back, no umph whatsoever. You will walk away with the sentiment that if you have seen one...you've seen them all. You could take him or leave him. Physical attractiveness is a thumbs down...a no go...and for me...a HELL NO! A majority of the dudes here wear the same basic colors (black, gray, and navy blue). It's like they have a freakin uniform around these parts. There is no variation in hair styles or textures. Dudes either have short hair cuts or locs like Lil Wayne. Dudes in the hood look dirty...flat out unclean. I am not saying they don't shower...I am just saying that they look like they don't (get the picture). Imagine skinny jeans, under ware hanging out...hot azz mess tattoos that look like an elementary school student did it with crayons, long locs and smoker lips. On the opposite end of the spectrum, there are the white collar dudes who wear button down plaid shirts, khaki pants or jeans and have absolutely NO SWAGGER!! He is probably making 6 figures and has decent conversation but he would never be confident enough to approach what he really wants but will eye f@ck the hell outta ya. He actually runs in the opposite direction of attractive women. He goes for the not so attractive girl with the bad weave...lol. And hood dudes go for the fat chicks with kids so he can live and eat off of her. These dudes don't want a dime piece, they just want a piece...LMAO. And lets talk about INSECURITY....awww man....every dude here has it!! Guys won't approach, then if they do...they want to talk to you on the phone for like a month before they actually ask you out. Dudes will also admit that they are unsure of themselves and don't want to work hard for the attractive chick...they would prefer the one who looks like she needs help...smh. To make matters worse, the ratio of women to men is skewed so the gender roles have changed drastically. Men sit back and thirsty a$$ women chase. Whichever chick is willing to out run the next chick by calling him constantly, jumping up whenever he calls, gives up the panties hella fast and is way too available...WINS!
To sum it up...L.A. guys have high standards and only want the best of EVERYTHING including his woman so he is willing to hustle hard to get it. DMV dudes want the best but settle for far less because he does not want to work. He wants the work to come to him. Although he may be successful, he does not want a successful woman...he is afraid of that...he wants a needy chick who depends on him and will not leave him because he has more than her. The differences between L.A. and the DMV are extreme. If you were to place beautiful diamonds, crystals and a variety of other rocks together, L.A. guys are going to reach for the diamonds and crystals placed at the top while DMV dudes dig for dirt rocks...smdh & lol.
Lets keep it real, everyone has something or someone they are addicted to and it is an unspoken universal fact. Unfortunately, addictions are only talked about when it is harmful and or life threatening...but the truth is too much of anything can KILL YOU!
Some people are addicted to drugs, cigarettes, coffee, sex, rock and roll, food, dieting, debt, pain and sorrow just to name a few. Take a few moments to think about at least one thing you obsess about constantly and find yourself, telling yourself, "I am going to quit." Being able to identify that one thing may be the most liberating feeling you will experience in your life. It is being able to take control simply by admitting that "this thing or person" is CONTROLLING YOU.
I will be the first to admit mines. I am addicted to aesthetics which is in essence art. Beauty is everything to me and I will do almost anything to be surrounded by it if I can not be apart of it. I love art so much that I have adorned my body with permanent ink that I value as much as art experts admire the Mona Lisa. I realized it was an addiction when I found myself constantly thinking of the next art piece to add to my physical collage and then recanting, stating that I am done...or should be done...or just one more...or maybe something small. It goes on and on haunting me some nights in my sleep. Tattoos give me a natural high that I get to relive every time I get to look at it (imagine that)...so addicted. Whew...that felt sooo good to let out. Now what's your addiction?
A mans' girl...what is that? Killa Kam are you talking about being in an intimate relationship as in boyfriend and girlfriend or husband and wife?
Naw....a mans' girl is synonymous with a "Mans' Man" only the gender is different. You know how there are some guys you can spot in a crowd and you would say to yourself, he is a "Mans' Man" because everything about him exudes masculinity. He is the type of dude who enjoys aggressive sports, likes hunting, takes risks and lives for today without ever thinking about tomorrow. He is in essence a "Mans' Man" because other dudes would LOVE to hang out with him and do manly activities.
Well a "Mans' Woman" is not a super masculine female who also enjoys rough and tumble play. There is actually a mystery to being a "Man's Girl." Few women have it, but most women want it!
She is actually VERY feminine and typically attractive to most. What makes her different from the rest is her demeanor. She is laid back, funny, street smart, book smart, independent, and versatile. Men are intrigued by her change of appearance and how she moves. Moves as in how she handles business, interacts with others and her unbreakable confidence. SHE IS THE "IT" GIRL who knows a little bit about everything.....is quick on her feet and witty. She lights up any room simply by walking in it! Her speech is eloquent, her manners polite, her attitude is pleasant and her smile.....wow....what a delight. She carries herself like a lady...with all the glitz and glam....but when she is hanging with the fellas, she knows how to be "THE MAN."
She is the girl who gets invited out often just to hang with the fellas when they are doing "guy stuff." You can spot her at the sports bar, lounge, riding on the back of motorcycles, or going out to eat with just the fellas. They call her to vent about their chicks, they listen to her vent about her dudes...but up close in person...every now and then they flirt but are never rude. They open doors, pay the tab and consult with her before making moves. She fits in...and yet sticks out like a sore thumb! Outsiders are watching and trying to figure out which guy she is dating...but once the foolery kicks in motion...she is acting out right along with the fellas taking jabs (slap boxing), cracking jokes and being the center of attention when telling stories.
This girl is not only intriguing to "her circle of boys" she has a vibe that has other men asking about her and wanting to befriend her "like one of his boys." Everything about her is chill!! Women like her and so do the men. What she "IS" can not be taught because she is just being herself, "A Mans' Girl."
Before you attempt to answer this question, know the difference between an asset and a liability. An asset is something that is expected to increase in value overtime also known as an investment. A liability requires input from resources and it gains no value or it decreases in value overtime. The first time I was ever asked this question, instantly I began thinking about material gain. My brain went directly to what is the most expensive thing that I own....and so my response was...my house! My financial adviser gave me a speed course on Assets 101. What I had perceived to be my GREATEST asset was actually secondary to the only asset that could have aquired that one. Hmmmm....wondering what I am getting at? Well, he told me that my GREATEST assets are like the holy trinity (three in one) Me, Myself, and I!
He explained that I am the only person in control of how much I can earn! My physical and mental health dictate the decisions I make to increase my revenue. For example, as long as I am healthy and can work, I can choose a lucrative profession, then negotiate annually for a raise, a higher position or I can look for a new job all together if there are no opportunities for upward mobility. If what I plan to do requires physical endurance and I am not healthy, no one will hire me. If I don't have the education, skills or training to use my mental capacities, again I will not have a job or know how to work for myself.
So the next time someone asks you what your greatest asset is...I hope you will remember that ......YOU ARE!
New beginnings after an epic fail is like the perfect introduction to a romance novel. The doors are wide open for opportunity and it can only get better as the story unfolds. The cliche has always been that when one door closes another one opens....but the truth is, opportunity is always there!
Every obstacle, minor set back, or "negative" life event has a purpose. It has a way of showing us exactly what we don't want, gives us the understanding that one size does not fit all and puts us in the position to receive something greater. "Everything happens for a reason" and there is no cliche about that.
Have you ever wanted something so badly (a job, car, house, significant other, business etc.) but when you actually received it, it fell short of your expectations? The dream job turned out to be stressful, the car kept breaking down, the house never felt like a home, the significant other was something other than his/her representative and the business was sucking the life out of your resources. Initially, what you wanted was "perfect" but truthfully it was the calm before the storm. Fortunately, after the rain, the sun comes out and the past is....old news because nothing last forever. What you discover is your desire to have a career not a job, the Camry does not come equipped with the luxuries of your new Lexus, that house was too small and you would have outgrown it in a year, your new prospect sparks your interests and lights your fire, and your new business is built on different principles, it is not meant solely to boost your annual income, it is meant to increase your happiness because you love what you are doing and it is cost effective. The moral of the story is....at some point we will experience natural disasters and some rain but there is always more days of sunshine throughout the year!
Is it just me or is anyone else annoyed when you hear your own voice echo? I can't speak for others but I can state with certainty that I don't like repeating myself. So here are my thoughts on the matter. Relationships of all sorts require WORK and yes....PATIENCE (something I don't have). I will be the first to say that patience is a virtue. Relationships also require sacrifice...you know...paying attention and making necessary changes to create some sort of homeostasis. It is normal for relationships to get out of balance from time to time, but it is necessary to take action in rectifying the problem...just talking about the same ish over and over wears me OUT!!!
Now that I am in my 30's, I can't do the three strikes and you're out. It is more like I warned you once and told you twice, now you are a day late and a dollar short. I am not into being a teacher and I am not into being a parent before my time. I will repeat myself when I have infants and toddlers. But I am learning that A LOT of grown ups act just like children and so I have to respond accordingly. So what I do and what seems to work is some behavior modification. SORRY, but you are on time-out!! Maybe we can try again another day....."BUT YOU GONE LEARN TODAY," the "change" you are presenting to me is a dollar short. GET YOUR ISH TOGETHER!!
Ever think to yourself....hmmm....who really has it all? I mean...everything one has ever desired to have in every aspect of one's life...including one's mate. WELL, those are thoughts that cross my mind quite frequently. The other day I had an epiphany that rocked my world!!! It is not as if I didn't already know that as humans we have flaws and no one is ABSOLUTELY perfect....but it hit me like a ton of bricks that....NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE....is perfect...including YOU and there always seems to be a catch!
When it comes to dating, I have discriminating taste and could be a critic connoisseur. I will assess, analyze then re-assess a person from head to toe, words being spoken asking myself...what did he just say out of his mouth, then onto natural fragrances better known as body odor....lol. Then, I would check out one's character and pick it apart to microscopic pieces. Moving on, gotta check out his background information which includes finances, family dynamics, goals and blah, blah, blah. And if that individual meets all of the criteria, well...BAM...he is perfect in my eyes!!! SMH, I had to realize that NO ONE will meet all of my criteria and so having said that, I have to strive for what I desire, but ultimately be satisfied with what I want.
PAY ATTENTION...I am not saying settle AT ALL. Metaphorically, I am saying if you desire to have a cheese burger but instead you get a fabulous hamburger, you have gotten what you wanted but not what you desired to have. This is my rule of thumb which if you ask me, is a LOT better than the 80/20 rule. I am going more for the 95/5 rule. Another way to look at it is like this...in school one would strive to get that A+ but if one received an A...mission accomplished!
When I started to think about the various characters that have come in and out of my life over the years...I have noticed that there is "SOME STUFF" with everyone. If your pursuer is good on paper...he may not be physically attractive or lacking somewhere in the bedroom. Vice versa, if the pursuer is physically attractive and packing, he may have some serious financial debt, children, baby mama drama, and the list goes on. What I am getting at is the fact that we are all presented with endless options but with each man/woman just like presents, the wrapping and gifts are not created equal. Some gifts are meant to be admired from afar, some are meant to keep for a lifetime and some are meant to be used until its' worth deteriorates.
