Ever think to yourself....hmmm....who really has it all? I mean...everything one has ever desired to have in every aspect of one's life...including one's mate. WELL, those are thoughts that cross my mind quite frequently. The other day I had an epiphany that rocked my world!!! It is not as if I didn't already know that as humans we have flaws and no one is ABSOLUTELY perfect....but it hit me like a ton of bricks that....NO ONE AND I MEAN NO ONE....is perfect...including YOU and there always seems to be a catch!
When it comes to dating, I have discriminating taste and could be a critic connoisseur. I will assess, analyze then re-assess a person from head to toe, words being spoken asking myself...what did he just say out of his mouth, then onto natural fragrances better known as body odor....lol. Then, I would check out one's character and pick it apart to microscopic pieces. Moving on, gotta check out his background information which includes finances, family dynamics, goals and blah, blah, blah. And if that individual meets all of the criteria, well...BAM...he is perfect in my eyes!!! SMH, I had to realize that NO ONE will meet all of my criteria and so having said that, I have to strive for what I desire, but ultimately be satisfied with what I want.
PAY ATTENTION...I am not saying settle AT ALL. Metaphorically, I am saying if you desire to have a cheese burger but instead you get a fabulous hamburger, you have gotten what you wanted but not what you desired to have. This is my rule of thumb which if you ask me, is a LOT better than the 80/20 rule. I am going more for the 95/5 rule. Another way to look at it is like this...in school one would strive to get that A+ but if one received an A...mission accomplished!
When I started to think about the various characters that have come in and out of my life over the years...I have noticed that there is "SOME STUFF" with everyone. If your pursuer is good on paper...he may not be physically attractive or lacking somewhere in the bedroom. Vice versa, if the pursuer is physically attractive and packing, he may have some serious financial debt, children, baby mama drama, and the list goes on. What I am getting at is the fact that we are all presented with endless options but with each man/woman just like presents, the wrapping and gifts are not created equal. Some gifts are meant to be admired from afar, some are meant to keep for a lifetime and some are meant to be used until its' worth deteriorates.
Feel free to share your thoughts on the subject.
Signing off,
Killa Kam, The Perfectionist!
Okay, I'll bite... To me it's not about finding in a sense, it's more like discovery. To find is to seek right? Well I would have to say that the perfect person should not have to be pursued per sé. Wouldn't the perfect person just happen to you? Allow me to clarify. If this person is perfect, wouldn't they come at the perfect time also? Ratios would not matter at this point in my opinion. I mean, they are perfect. The way I believe the perfect person is found is by discovery. I believe that the discovery is within self more than someone else. To know who or even what is perfect for you is to know yourself perfectly. And I believe that is only achieved by making the mind still and heart at peace. Then you will discover what does suit you and perhaps that person will find you naturally, or maybe that person is found by you. Only at peace will the perfect person be discovered and any form of validation would be unnecessary. It would be like trying to validate yourself. I hope this seems suitable as a response to your inaugural post. God bless
ReplyDeleteHold up, hold up! It sounds like me and you finally agree on a dating matter!!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree. You don't have to settle but you must ackonowledge what can make you happy and what you cannot tolerate in a mate.
You said (quite well), "Some gifts are meant to be admired from afar, some are meant to keep for a lifetime and some are meant to be used until its' worth deteriorates." . . . . . .
Which isn't too different then my saying, "Relationships are like rollercoasters . . .ride them while the fun lasts, get off when it makes you sick, and if it's boring sometimes taking a break can make you realize one of two things: 1. there is a whole amusement park out there; or 2. it really is your favorite ride and you get back on it!