Is it just me or is anyone else annoyed when you hear your own voice echo? I can't speak for others but I can state with certainty that I don't like repeating myself. So here are my thoughts on the matter. Relationships of all sorts require WORK and yes....PATIENCE (something I don't have). I will be the first to say that patience is a virtue. Relationships also require sacrifice...you know...paying attention and making necessary changes to create some sort of homeostasis. It is normal for relationships to get out of balance from time to time, but it is necessary to take action in rectifying the problem...just talking about the same ish over and over wears me OUT!!!
Now that I am in my 30's, I can't do the three strikes and you're out. It is more like I warned you once and told you twice, now you are a day late and a dollar short. I am not into being a teacher and I am not into being a parent before my time. I will repeat myself when I have infants and toddlers. But I am learning that A LOT of grown ups act just like children and so I have to respond accordingly. So what I do and what seems to work is some behavior modification. SORRY, but you are on time-out!! Maybe we can try again another day....."BUT YOU GONE LEARN TODAY," the "change" you are presenting to me is a dollar short. GET YOUR ISH TOGETHER!!
Okay... so I ask, is there an acceptable time to be a teacher? Perhaps in the bedroom, or maybe in conversation, could you be a teacher in a professional setting? Personally I believe every experience is a learning experience. Especially when it come to the opposite sex (or to be more politically acceptable) or the counterpart of your choosing. For example, I would have to study you in order to know what would please you in a sexual manner. I won't know, unless I'm psychic, what motivates you sexually unless I use trial and error or you speak your mind about it. The same would be said about conversation. If I don't know you don't like basketball for an example and I go off into a deeply detailed conversation about the lockout and the effects it can have on the smaller city teams, you would look at me as if I was retarded. Unless, you spoke to me about or corrected me on my failed attempt of striking a conversation about basketball. If we were in a business together and I had my own goals for the company without consulting you about it, we could be at odds and the business would not flourish.
ReplyDeleteAll of this to say, that I believe in a moderate amount of compromise and patience. Without that an understanding and lasting relationship is not possible. I would not want to modify you nor would I want you to modify me. To come to understanding one another would be ideal for any relationship. I hope this is relevant to you. Let me know what you think.
I get that in a new relationship all participants are going to need some guidance and also a reminder or two...but with me...two is all you are going to get before I have to start reprimanding. If one of the participants is a slow learner....communicate that to your mate!!! But over the years I have learned that the best lessons are learned when there are logical consequences...not when there is nagging. After the second verbal reminder...clearly it is not about what I am saying and has to be more about what I am doing to encourage change.
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